Bethelina

Is it just me, or is the G/t community on here a mere ghost of what it used to be? I am not one to complain, considering my activity has been lackluster at best these past few years.

I decided to brush the cobwebs off my old Tumblr, since it seems like that's where everyone has migrated. Not to worry, I'm not leaving here. I feel like dA's system of organizing your work is much more cohesive. I can't imagine posting My Brother's Keeper over there properly. But in any case, if you're on there, feel free to follow me, or let me know your URL so I can follow you as well.

bethelina.tumblr.com/

A shocker, I know. Who would have thought that this is a journal?? 

Good luck to everyone participating in NaNoWriMo this year! End of week 1, going into week 2!  I'm attempting a modified version myself so as not to get discouraged, hopefully. 

Anyway, I just wanted to put out a journal that wasn't over 2 years old. I'm not sure what I want to put here... 

So have a picture of my doggers instead. 

What has it been... _{*checks page*} over 2 years since I last uploaded a journal? 4,000+ notifications to sift through (like 98% of those are watch messages). Gah...   Just a warning, this journal might be a bit emo or whatever, so please disregard it if that't not your thing.

So, some big changes have happened in my life. I'm taking a semi-permanent break from school. It took a while from me to learn, but living away from home and away from my dogs doesn't work well for me. So until I am in a place where I can finish school with the support I need, I'll be working to pay off my loans...

I have a serious problem where my insecurities keep me from doing things. Especially when it comes to writing. I don't want to let people down by writing badly so I don't write. I get upset at myself for not writing anything and therefore let people down by not uploading. It's a vicious cycle. My friend jokes that I'll turn 30 before I can actually finish my book. I'm honestly scared she's right.

Through it all though, thank you for keeping me from falling away completely from the G/t community and bugging me to make sure I'm still alive. _{And for playing Final Fantasy 15 with me.}

Anyway, I'm not promising that I'm going to be back. Because given my track record, let's face it, I'll probably be as aloof as I've been. But I'd like to imagine that I can change my absence. I can tell that I feel more depressed when I exclude myself from the community. But I really don't know if I can motivate myself to get on regularly anymore. 

In any case, those of you who stuck around, thank you. I don't feel like I deserve your support, being gone as long and often as I am. 
 
Sorry, this really turned into an emo rant, didn't it? I guess I'll show myself out now.